Monday, January 31, 2011


2011 is the year I have set aside to really focus on making myself a better person.  I've been working on being a better friend and wife over the past few weeks.  I'm confronting my short-comings and facing them head-on.  But there is one thing that I just can't seem to wrap my head or hands around.

I am a high-strung person.  I live for the crisis situation at work - one where I can solve problems and fix things quickly.  I take on more than I need to and juggle a hectic schedule.  I am a yes person and have a tough time saying no, which leads to stress.  I'm only 25, so I shouldn't be worried about my stress level, right?  WRONG!

This weekend I stayed in and was overcome with odd chest pain, a burning sensation throughout my entire abdomen area, dizziness and a cough.  I went to the doctor this morning, and after three hours, walked out stressed.  Here is the kicker - I'm stressing over trying to figure out what is stressing me out.  Weird huh?  After several tests performed and even more scheduled, we're pretty sure it's my gall bladder, but it is clear.  I am too stressed and it's not good for my mind, body or soul.  My doc asks me what is stressing me out, and I can't think of a single thing.  I have been taking it easy since finishing my thesis, taking time for myself, setting aside relaxation time, and things just seem to be falling into place.  So, what in the world am I stressed about?  I can't figure it out, so now I have 6 days and 12 hours to figure out what is stressing me out before I take a stress test.  Stressing about it is not the best way to prepare, but that's where I am now.  Stressing over not knowing what I'm stressed about. 

If you read this, please say a prayer for me.  I'm going to try and calm down, but it's hard, not knowing what is causing me to feel so stressed.

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