For the past three years I have been working relentlessly on my Master's Degree. Our program requires 30 hours of classes, then I added a Teaching Certificate, which requires another 6 hours. I am well above my 36 hours needed, and in the home stretch. In May 2009, I began work on my thesis, examining the impact of negative political campaigns and advertisements on young, first-time voters. After a ton of struggles along the way (another post, another time), I am in the final weeks of the whole
Or, so I thought. One of the perks of grad school, and particularly, the thesis capstone process, is having to defend your work to a panel of professors and peers. We are closing in on the end of the semester and I have yet to set a defense date. Well, to clarify, I have had three defense dates set and then, canceled for one reason or another. I'm to the point where I actually don't care if I graduate or not (okay, I really do care), whether my defense goes well or not (again, I do care), and whether I get honors or not (I would love to, but honestly, I really don't care about that any longer). I just want the whole thing done.
I am having nightmares - professors chasing me with pitchforks because my work is not 100% final - peers throwing my paper in a fire - and the best one, showing up to my defense and learning that my committee decided I'm not worthy of a degree and automatically failing me. These are not pleasant dreams, and nightmares can't even begin to describe them. I mean, you are supposed to wake up from a nightmare, realize it was a dream and move on, right? Not suffer from panic attacks, anxiety attacks, and be on the verge of tears 24/7!
So, if you are reading this, please send some prayers my way. Send some support. And please, help me realize that this is just another hurdle. Because right now, quitting seems like a real choice. Just sayin'.