Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Confessions

Confession.  Just the word alone brings goosebumps to my arms.  And I'm not talking about a religious confession.  I'm talking about being brutally honest and confessing your true feelings - whether it is to yourself or to others. 

I'm working on fixing a few relationships that have gone sour because of things left unsaid.  The first step is figuring out what I really felt and didn't say (self-confession).  The next, approaching the person and confessing to them.  Oddly enough, the self-confession is the hardest part.  Allowing myself to understand that it is okay that I once felt betrayed (no matter how petty the issue) or that I didn't speak my mind (and now regret it) is a hard thing to do.  Probably because I am super stubborn and set in my ways.  But, it is a very gratifying feeling once it is all said and done.  The conversation seems to flow much easier once I have come to terms with my own feelings.  Often, it starts with "I know this is how I acted.  I'm sorry.  I was feeling..." and ends with "I'm sorry I wasn't upfront with you to begin with.  I wasn't being 100% honest with myself either". 

Sometimes I think that we shield ourselves from our true feelings in fear of getting hurt, being judged, or making the wrong choices.  But hey, we are human and need to be true to ourselves. 

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